Longing Souls
by MissSadisticEbene
Summary: What if Sai hadn't completely vanished? What happens when he comes back? What are both Hikaru and Sai hiding in their hearts? What did Hikaru pay for Sai's return? Disclaimer: I do not own Hikaru No Go not any all right belong to Yumi Hotta or whoever the owner is.


**Third Person POV**

It's been six years since Sai vanished from Hikaru's life. Hikaru was left guilty and broken. He got over his depression but the bleached haired never felt complete again. The first two/three years he played Go as much he could seeking more opponent and doing whatever he could to put Sai in his Go. After he lost to the Korean kid at the tournament he felt ashamed and hated himself for not being able to defend Sai's honour. That reminded him more at how puny he is in front of the genius that was Fujiwara No Sai. He always thoughts if only he hadn't been selfish and uncaring taking the other for granted. Thinking back he can see how bad he had been to the man not even noticing the worried and scared behaviour of the man when he knew he didn't have time. It hadn't believed the man nor had he actually even tried to even get to know who Sai is. Now Hikaru was filled with deep regrets and sorrow. Only when the ghost complete left did he realise how important Sai was to him. The more he grew the more Sai's importance struck as if the ghost still was around. Hikaru was filled if so much unruly emotions that he couldn't focus on his Go career anymore. The boy needed to express his feelings but there wasn't anyone who he could truly talk to. Not knowing where to turn to Hikaru learned to paint. At first he painted Sai just for himself but then decided that it wasn't enough. He wanted people to remember Sai who played and beat the former Meijin. He opened a blog just for Sai and with help of Ogata-sensei the current Meijin and his friend/rival Akira and a little bit from the former Meijin the blogged developed nicely and become trustworthy and popular. Everyone knew that anything posted on the blog was accurate and Hikaru did his best answering anything he could about Sai but for some reason he never got the courage to tell anyone about what happen to Sai and where he went. The boy just couldn't bring himself to actually say it even though his mind already acknowledge it. His lack of answer about Sai's whereabout hadn't stopped people from visiting the blog. The blog contained at first all Sai's teachings he remembered and some of kifu's Sai played with him or told him about. He took time to give details about the games Sai commented on and the wisdom the man shared with him.

Hikaru hadn't abandoned Go but didn't have that gleam in his eyes anymore. He still plays but one could see the monotony of the game. Go couldn't fill the bleached haired boy's heart anymore only in painting could one see a glimpse of true emotion in the boy's eyes. Hikaru was also lucky that Akira wouldn't leave him alone for too long and his rival have a way to rill him up. He could also see the support from his other friends and the former and current Meijin. Even so Hikaru heart held a void he knew only Sai could fill. The boy have prayed anyone who created him and allowed him to meet Sai to give him another chance. He prayed and promised God that this time around he will take good care and make Sai happy whatever the sacrifice. Hikaru was sure he would give up the world and everything if that means he can have the Go genius back.

Six years have passed and anyone can see the light dying from the once carefree boy. His family and friends tried everything but nothing seem to help. All of them have now realise that they lost Hikaru six years ago and those close to him who heard about Sai knew that Sai was the cause of Hikaru's state. A lot had question to ask about Sai and what happened but none could bring themselves to ask because Hikaru always got a depressed and dying look whenever someone wanted to know where Sai was. Many of Hikaru's entourage wonders if the boy will ever be his old self again? Also they where curious to know what exactly happened between this mysterious Sai and Hikaru?

Hikaru was now in the Touyas Go saloon discussing and playing with Akira monotonely when their attention snapped to a approaching Ichikawa with a small group fallowing behind. Something in the small group approaching made Hikaru's heart skip few beats and pound wildly. A clothing he was too familiar with. The boy was shaking and didn't dare look anywhere else but that piece of cloths not even wanting to see the wearers face. Hikaru in his mind knew that couldn't be Sai it was engraved in his mind. Sai wasn't anymore but seeing that piece of cloths have send the young boys heart into turmoil.

"Sorry to interrupt your game but these guests are insisting on talking to Shindou-kun." Ichikawa said when they reached the two boys. Akira could see that Hikaru was at a near panic state since the strange group approached. Akira couldn't understand what's going on and something told him he shouldn't ask...yet.

"I want to play Shindou Hikaru." A voice said that made Hikaru's head snap to the source and freeze in his seat pale as if he saw a ghost. Akira didn't understand Hikaru's reaction at all but a word explained it all to the young genius.

"Sai?" Hikaru said/asked in a strangled voice eyes watering but there was clear denial in the bleached haired eyes. Hikaru couldn't believe what was in front of him even though the boy knew it can't be Sai but this resemblance have struck him to the core. The cloths, the hat and even the fan everything was there the only thing missing is the make up but that didn't make much difference.

 **Hikaru's POV**

This most be a cruel joke. I am already at my limit karma throwing this at me is just plain cruel. The man sitting on that wheelchair is an exact copy of Sai but I know he can't be Sai. My Sai is already gone never to come back beside Sai can't be living with flesh and blood. The man is already dead for heaven's sake! Even knowing all that I couldn't help but say the name that belonged to this face.

"Sai? Yes that's my name I remember I am Fujiwara-No-Sai. My mind is still fussy its like something is stopping me from remembering but I knew when I saw your picture on Go weekly that you where familiar. You know me right?" The man said making my whole body shake and my eyes widen in shock and disbelief. I just sat there unable to speak gaping at the man who really seem to be Sai in flesh but that just can't be. Right? Right? Oh God!

"Excuse us Shindou-san I am Takamura Aoi. Do you know this man? The hospital took him in six years ago but we can't find anything about him anywhere and he doesn't seem familiar with anything beside Go. A week ago he saw you on a newspaper and seem to somewhat remember you. We can be mistaken but he insisted on seeing you and having you play him. Since he woke up two years ago he never talked to anyone in fact he never let anyone near him at all so when we saw his reaction to your picture we hoped you will recognise him and help us figure who he actually is." A lady in a nurse outfit said making my disbelief turn into denial then hope. I mean I am well aware of all miracle God can make happen so it may be possible but I don't want to get my hopes up.

"I lost someone six years ago it may be him but it is very unlikely. I know how to know if he really is my Sai or just a lookalike. Let's play a game Sai." I said trying to get my emotions in check. I was mostly calm now well that's a lie I don't even know what to feel right now.

 **Akira's POV**

To say I am lost would be an understanding. What in the world is going on? Is this ridiculously pretty man really the Sai? The one who is undefeated as far as we know? The one who defeated father? And I? The one Hikaru kept a secret until recently? The one who we all chased after? Is he really that Sai? If so I really didn't expect this at all. He look so young and pretty and his dress code look like its from another era.

"Yes Hikaru let's play Go!" The man said excitedly but hiding half his face behind a fan. The man's every move is graceful.

I cleaned up the game I was playing with Hikaru and let the man take my place. I stood really interested in the game that was about to begin. Hikaru have a hopeful gleam in his eyes but it seem like he is trying to not be hopeful while his opponent had a happy smile on his lips. They nigiri and started the game silently.

As the game developed I could see that unique play that only belonged to Sai. The game was beautiful and its seem to be talking more than any words could. Hikaru had a disbelief look on his face while his eyes watered and his lips smiled. Sai seem to be getting emotional too disbelief was clear in his face then understanding and happiness. Their game stopped halfway through they seem not able to tear their eyes of each other.

"Sai it really is you. Oh God please tell me it's not a dream." Hikaru said breaking in sobs. Sai asked the nurse to push him closer to Hikaru what she did he then put Hikaru's head on his lap stroking it gently.

"Yes Hikaru it really is me and thanks to you I regained my memories. I will explain everything when we have some privacy." Said said kissing Hikaru's hair and stroking while saying soothing words. They seem to have completely forgotten about us but I didn't care right now because I was too dumbstruck to even bat my eyes.


End file.
